February’s Special Grawlix Show

If we believed in celebrating anniversaries, then we would probably go ahead and call this show our FOUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY SHOW. But here’s the thing – we don’t believe in anniversaries. We find them precious and self-important. Naval-gazing BS for less-evolved individuals. No sir, we’ve simply been doing this for a number of years, no one show more important than the other, if any of them were ever even important at all. You see we consider each Grawlix episode to be a sort of Buddhist sand painting, beautiful to look at and behold, to experience and marvel at, but once they are over, they are over – scattered to the winds in all four directions, dusting across the prairie and the mountains and the deserts to the oceans, gone forever and yet somehow also forever a part of us. 

How hard can this be?

How hard can this be?

Can you tell we’ve been taking a lot of yoga classes?


And even though we’ve celebrated countless anniversaries before and had you all tell us how great we are and how much we’ve accomplished and made you painfully aware of those milestones, this year we’re not doing that. We’re really super deep now. So we’re just going to roll up our sleeves and put on another great show.

BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT WE FUCKING DO.

That said, if you’d like to give us anniversary gifts, Adam likes craft beers, he’s a fan of sours, Andrew likes Legos and expensive salts, and Ben likes cool workout gear, toys for snakes, and sidewalk chalk, the brighter the better!

We’ve got a doozy of a show this month, gang! America’s sweetheart Bryan Cook will be joining us again for his Up-With-People flavored meanderings, Derek Sheen will be gracing our fine stage once again from Seattle, this time with a whole new appreciation for what it is like to come from a losing Super Bowl city and darling wunderkind Kristin Rand will join us once more before departing for LA, to eventually become a superstar but definitely appear in the background of a few commercials first. AND SHE WILL NAIL IT. Add to that mix a very special drop-in surprise guest who is probably the most famous comic to ever hail from Denver and certainly the most impressive comedian to act opposite a 3D bear. You’re not going to want to miss it.

And then there’s us, humbly holding down the fort for the fourth year in a row not because we need your praise, but because we desperately need it, even though sometimes we act all new-agey and shit.

Seriously. Bring gifts.

First Grawlix of 2015 with stand up comic Barry Rothbart headlining! January 30th at The Bug Theatre!

A word from Adam on the upcoming comedy show in Denver.

After a Thanksgiving Grawlix and a Christmas Grawlix and a mid-month Hannukah Grawlix at Adam’s house that he invited all of you to and NONE OF YOU ATTENDED BECAUSE YOU ARE ANTI-SEMITES we here at Grawlix INC LTD are excited to get back to our regularly scheduled programming. Yes, the holiday shows were fun and special and unique – except for the Hannukah Grawlix which literally was just Adam and his dog Annabel and a menorah – but you know what? We do this shit all the time, girl! Holidays or no, we throw comedy bangers on the regular so is it any surprise we would come correct in January?

Adam, his dog Annabel and a menorah

Adam, his dog Annabel and a menorah

The answer is no. No it is not any surprise.

This month, in addition to brand new (plagiarized) sets by we Grawlix Three, we are delighted to welcome Brent Gill into the Grawlix fold. Brent’s been destroying microphones for years now. It’s become a nasty habit. Comedy clubs ask him not to come back because he literally ruins microphones. But we don’t care if he dismantles the microphone with that little spy kit he brings with him everywhere, as long as he tells a few jokes through it first so be it!

Justine Marino will also be joining the gang. Justine has numerous TV credits we could throw at you but we’re most impressed with a credit she refuses to brag about: she’s the founder and first cover girl of 17 Magazine! YOU GO GURL.

Upcoming Comedy Show with Barry Rothbart

Barry Rothbart headlines the Grawlix January 30, 2015.

 

Last but certainly not least, we’ve got Barry Rothbart flying in from Handsome Town, USA to delight you with his comedy stylings then seduce you with his baby blues. In addition to being one of the funniest comedy cats out there (we do things like call people “cats” now, we’ve become insufferable), he also has done Conan and out-danced fucking urrybody in a little movie you may have heard of called, ‘The Wolf of Wall Street.”

Add maybe one, two secret surprise guests that evening and we got one hell of a show there don’t we?

The answer is yes. Yes we do.

 

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The Grawlix Episode 43: HALLOWEEN BASH

Hi, it’s Cheryl from church. Praise be his name, I’ve finally lined up the entertainers for the Autumn Night of Praise. I asked my sister’s daughter who the ‘kids’ were into, and she gave me some names, and thankfully they said yes! A tall handsome man named Matt Braunger is our special guest, and I told him no need to bring an acoustic guitar, our youth pastor D’Marcus has three. We also have a young man who has been singing in a musical in New York (I hope it’s Oklahoma!) named Shawn Pearlman! We also have John Tole from Austin, and Nato Green from San Francisco. Matt and Shawn even said they have a short film they will screen for us, and I told them I hope it’s ‘Fireproof 2’! LOL. Sorry if that was inappropriate.
Remember, we will have autumnal arts and crafts for the kids (nothing colored orange and black, don’t worry!) as well as a ‘Spiritual Armor of God’ costume contest! Dress up in spiritual armor and be judged!
Everything starts at 10, and we do ask a $10 tithe.

 

 

Let us know how much candy corn to bring.

Andrew appearing on The Tonight Show, Ben Roy on Comedy Central and Adam in Asia

The Grawlix guys are busy doing comedy shows around the world. Let’s catch up with the latest news:

Andrew Ovredahl will be on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon Monday, October 13th! Our show’s sponsor Illegal Pete’s is hosting a viewing party that night!

Ben Roy killed it on Adam Devine’s House Party on Comedy Central.

Before Adam Cayton-Holland headed to South Korea to do shows with Kyle Kinane for a week, he interviewed Colorado Governor, John Hickenlooper, for his podcast.

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Pretty excited about the next episode of my podcast, My Dining Room Table, with Colorado Governor @hickforco @hickenlooper2014

View on Instagram

 

Whew, that is a lot of cool news and we haven’t even discussed this month’s Grawlix show. Stay tuned for more on that!

Comedians Brandie Posey, Chuck Roy and Mike Drucker at The Grawlix here in Denver!

Comedian Mike Drucker

Comedian Mike Drucker will be headlining Episode 41 of The Grawlix.

Let’s not kid ourselves. We all know July is when we start to become a bit unglued. It’s hot – so goddamned hot – and the city is overrun with those summer kids, now free from the confines of their schools and out there terrorizing the good citizens of the Mile High City what with their crabgrass music jam festivals and their smoking-pot, not to mention the eating-pot which makes everyone SUPER LOCO so that it’s like you don’t even want to go outside lest some kid start trying to steal your wallet to be able to afford another taste, just one more fucking taste. It gets to the point where it’s like, “Enough! When do we get to have something that’s for us? Not heathen summer rebels, but US, you know?”

Here’s the thing: WE DO KNOW.

Because when things get a little out-of-hand, when it feels like your world might be in disarray, the Grawlix is the port in the storm. In these tumultuous, high-summer times it’s important to remember what brought us all together in the first place: world-class stand-up comedy in a beautiful historic theater in the Queen City of the Plains hosted by “the best looking comedians that have ever graced a stage.” – E!

So lock the doors, turn the lights off, hire a sitter, and hope that the deranged, insatiable wayward teens don’t realize you’re out for the night because THEY WILL FUCK YOUR HOUSE UP WITH THEIR BLINK 182 PARTIES and come on out to the Grawlix!

This month we have one doozy of a show.

Via Los Angeles we have comedy rock-star Brandie Posey, formerly known as Apathy Spice, currently known as the owner of your heart.

It’s not very often you can accurately predict a bear-sighting, what with their wandering, foraging ways, but this month, we’ve got a guaranteed bear appearance in the form of Denver legend Chuck Roy. Yeah. That Chuck Roy.

Add to that mix comedian extraordinaire Mike Drucker, coming in hot off his Emmy nomination for his work on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, and former writer for SNL, The Onion, McSweeny’s and a filthy little pornographic newsletter that he got in trouble for distributing at 30 Rock for its Communist undertones.

Haha. We don’t care, Mike! We don’t name names!

Except for our own. The Grawlix. Expect a motley pastiche of sets from us, a new video from Evan Nix and Adam Nix, general good vibes and NO DANGEROUS TEENAGERS. NOT ONE.

That’s the Grawlix guarantee.

Doors at 10. Show at 10: 30, $10 cash.

Be there. Be somebody. Lock your doors. Those kids are fucking everywhere

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The Grawlix – Episode 38 with Heller, Posner, Gardenswartz, Monroe

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Spring is in the air and accordingly we here at GloboGrawlixCorp Multi-Use Pipes and Pipe-fitting, LTD. have taken it upon ourselves to do a little bit of spring cleaning to the ole operation, a little tidying of the house, if you will.For starters: Nelson the Vaguely Ethnic Comedian we use for cheap, below-the-belt racist jokes has been fired. We thank him for his years of dutiful and hilarious services but when the city council slaps you with an ordinance the city council slaps you with an ordinance. For those wishing to see more of Nelson he’ll be at Snortz in Bowling Green May 11-13.

Two, we are no longer allowed to give out free Frito Pie’s as the Bug Theater’s Dyson can no longer sustain the repeated chili vacumming.

Three, a good 3/4 of the chairs have been removed to install a rooftop party deck. We look forward to the influx of new comedy fans/rooftop drinking enthusiasts/steakheads.

I suppose that’s it for the changes.

But one thing that won’t change is the consistently amazing live shows we’ve been giving Denver for three years.

Great segway, Adam. Thanks Adam.

For starters we have San Francisco boy hero Jules Posner making his Grawlix debut and we hear bringing free clean needles for junkies. Thanks Jules!

Then we have giant Jew/East High School alum Noah Gardenswartz to come and talk to us in his signature, late 90’s Pharcyde drawl, eventually luring all of us into a park to drink 40’s.

In addition to that we got Propaganda host and comedy goodwill ambassador Matt Monroe making his Grawlix debut and showing everyone his horrific scars under his beanie! NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.

Rounding out the bill is Emily Heller, a comedian who dared to ask the question, “What if I did Conan and John Oliver and was also a Variety Top Ten Comic to Watch?” The answer would be her losing her shit backstage over a lack of party-tray celery.

Add to that volatile mix some combination of the Grawlix and videos and spring-flavored hatred and resentment and it sounds to me, Adam Cayton-Holland, like we’ve got a Grawlix.

Or were you and under the impression Ben and Andrew wrote these sometimes? Pshaw. As if.

Resentment!

Doors at 10, show at 10:30. Get there early and hop in line, y’all. $10. Cash.

 

THREE YEAR ANNIVERSARY WITH KYLE KINANE!

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To think, a mere three years ago we awoke from our collective fever dream where we were participating in the sixteen-day-long Hopi Snake Dance and thought, “Hey, we should do a comedy show again!” Out of that epiphany was born the Grawlix and who would have believed all that would come from that simple yet profound realization. We’ve made web-series together, we’ve made a pilot together, we’ve done podcasts and festivals and traveled the globe together. We all murdered a guy named Kenny together but we never talk about it and we all really need therapy to work that shit out but we still just pretend it didn’t happen which is suuuuuper weird. But the most important thing that we’ve done, our very favorite thing that has happened in all those three years, is performing month after month for our beloved hometown audience in Denver, Colorado. Pandering? Nay. It’s just the straight-up truth.

Truthful pandering.

Expect more of that – sprinkled liberally with occasional Macbeth-ian breakdowns about the blood on our hands from Kenny – for the three year anniversary when we welcome Los Angeles’ amazing Fringe Riders to the show! Don’t know the Fringe Riders? Well buckle up. Imagine if three cowboys took too much peyote, listened to a bunch of stand up comedy albums, and then gathered around the fire to spin a few whisky-and-bloodlust fueled yarns. The Fringe Riders are absolutely hilarious and we’re excited to welcome them into the Grawlix fold.

What else? Not one, but two secret guests! Two!

What else? Just Kyle Kinane. No big deal. Kyle has been a friend of the Grawlix throughout and it only made sense to have him back out here for our three-year-anniversary she-bang. Just seemed natural.

Add to all that a new video and brand new sets by we intrepid Grawlix three and we’d say we got ourselves a three-year-anniversary blowout.

Doors are at 10, show is at 10:30, and if we were you we would get in line early to get a spot at this show. Going to be a hot ticket. A hot ticket that costs $10. Cash.

THREE MORE YEARS! THREE MORE YEARS! THREE MORE YEARS!

The Movie Interruption of Pretty Woman

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Thursday, Feb 13, The Grawlix will be special guest at Movie Interruption playing at the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema in Littleton, Colorado. Watch and listen as the boys raze this classic tale of boy meets girl live. For tickets head over to the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema’s website.