Spring is in the air and accordingly we here at GloboGrawlixCorp Multi-Use Pipes and Pipe-fitting, LTD. have taken it upon ourselves to do a little bit of spring cleaning to the ole operation, a little tidying of the house, if you will.For starters: Nelson the Vaguely Ethnic Comedian we use for cheap, below-the-belt racist jokes has been fired. We thank him for his years of dutiful and hilarious services but when the city council slaps you with an ordinance the city council slaps you with an ordinance. For those wishing to see more of Nelson he’ll be at Snortz in Bowling Green May 11-13.
Two, we are no longer allowed to give out free Frito Pie’s as the Bug Theater’s Dyson can no longer sustain the repeated chili vacumming.
Three, a good 3/4 of the chairs have been removed to install a rooftop party deck. We look forward to the influx of new comedy fans/rooftop drinking enthusiasts/steakheads.
I suppose that’s it for the changes.
But one thing that won’t change is the consistently amazing live shows we’ve been giving Denver for three years.
Great segway, Adam. Thanks Adam.
For starters we have San Francisco boy hero Jules Posner making his Grawlix debut and we hear bringing free clean needles for junkies. Thanks Jules!
Then we have giant Jew/East High School alum Noah Gardenswartz to come and talk to us in his signature, late 90′s Pharcyde drawl, eventually luring all of us into a park to drink 40′s.
In addition to that we got Propaganda host and comedy goodwill ambassador Matt Monroe making his Grawlix debut and showing everyone his horrific scars under his beanie! NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.
Rounding out the bill is Emily Heller, a comedian who dared to ask the question, “What if I did Conan and John Oliver and was also a Variety Top Ten Comic to Watch?” The answer would be her losing her shit backstage over a lack of party-tray celery.
Add to that volatile mix some combination of the Grawlix and videos and spring-flavored hatred and resentment and it sounds to me, Adam Cayton-Holland, like we’ve got a Grawlix.
Or were you and under the impression Ben and Andrew wrote these sometimes? Pshaw. As if.
Doors at 10, show at 10:30. Get there early and hop in line, y’all. $10. Cash.