Dear Andy, I heard through ‘the grapevine’ (like the California Raisins, get it?) that you guys in the Grawlix pitched your hit web series as a show in Hollywood. Any truth to those rumors? -ShowBiz Shelley
First of all, even if we did go pitch our web series as a show to Adult Swim, FX and Comedy Central, Adam and Ben would specifically tell me NOT TO TALK ABOUT IT, even to my own wife, which seemed kind of unfair to me. How was I supposed to explain this sudden trip to Los Angeles? In the end I told her I was leaving her for a younger woman, and then when I came back a week later I was like, “Just kidding!” So to answer your question, No.
Dear Andy, I’m thinking of getting a Grawlix tattoo because I’m that big a fan! What body part should I get it on? -Concerned in Saint Louis
Wow! I’m flattered! If you’re going to get such a cool tattoo, you certainly won’t want to hide it! I’d say the side of your neck, or maybe even somewhere on your head, and then keep that part shaved. And let me announce: Anyone who gets a Grawlix tattoo gets 30% off admission for the next four months of their life!!! WHOO HOO!
Dear Andy, I recently learned that you upped the price of admission to your show from $7 to $10. It saddens me that corporate greed has gotten ahold of you, and you let that rich kid Adam make all the business decisions. By the way, can I get a comp to this month’s show? -Grassroots Gerald
First of all, let me just say that we hate to lose a customer. If you can hold on a second, I’d be happy to run and get the assistant manager. Okay, Ben isn’t available. The decision to up the ticket price was not 100% motivated by greed. It was also 30% operational maintenance overhead percentages profit and 26% staff operational reduction forces restructuring maintenance operations. So there’s a lot going on behind the scenes that the regular workin’ Joe doesn’t understand. And yes, you can have a comp to this month’s show. Wait, do you have a Grawlix tattoo?
Dear Andy, I heard you’re all taking a Summer break from The Grawlix. Is this true? -Upset in Utah
I’m not sure where you heard that rumor, but we are not taking any breaks, for any seasons, ever. For life. In fact, we have a bunch of cool shit coming up in the months to come. This month Chris Fairbanks and Mo Welch are our special guests, and we hope to keep this trend up every month, bringing in comics we love from other cities. Some more comics to look for in the months to come are Josh Gondelman and Kate Berlant, just to name two. So keep coming to the show, and we’ll keep bringing it to you, new every month. And don’t forget about that tattoo.